Taking Inventory

I've been leading an eight week study with John Baker's book Life's Healing Choices. This last week we were on Choice 7:

❝Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will.❞

Needless to say, it's been a powerful, often times heart wrenching choice, because I have to review my inventory in three different ways -- ways I'd never thought about before in the past. Relapse for anyone struggling with an issue is so easy if we don't learn to recognize it and learn how to pull ourselves back on track.

Maybe you have an addict in your life and are thinking, "I'm not the one who needs help!" The truth is that we all struggle with something that is slowing down our relationship with Christ or bringing it to a complete halt altogether.

Lately, for me, it's been jealousy.

Yes, I know, maybe that doesn't sound too serious, but for me it is. When I struggle with jealousy, it usually means I'm wanting exactly what that other person has and I'll cry and hate the world until I get my way. This week has been particularly bad for me. The other day I collapsed into tears when I heard the good news another friend of mine had to share. I've been working so long to get exactly what she has that immediately I was angry, bitter, hateful, spiteful . . . you name it, that was me!

But here's the thing -- after working through the choices in this book, I instantly recognized my slide back into someone I didn't want to be. I was focusing too much of my energy on this other person and I knew that my bitter mood would lead me no where good. So, the next day, I sat down, did a mental inventory of my behavior and where I needed to be. I dug my heels in and focused on what God has for me, not what he has for somebody else. His still voice has been with me all along in my journey and I had to calm myself and listen to what He was saying.

And you know what He was saying?

"It's my timing, not yours. Remember that."

And I will continue to remember that.

According to Baker's book, hear are the three types of inventory we need to be doing:

1. Spot-check evaluation: Try to deal with that problem immediately. The longer you postpone dealing with it, the worse it gets.
2. Daily review: Find a quiet time at the end of each day to review your failures and victories for the day. 
3. Annual checkup: This is your spring cleaning for the year! Look at your life, see what's in order and what's not, and do some deep cleaning.

Do you struggle with something that you must remember to keep in check? Do you ever take a personal inventory?

The Scorpion

A couple of days ago, I found one. He's not my first, and he most certainly won't be my last.

I'm sorry, but just looking at that thing makes me
a little sick to my stomach!

Around where I live, scorpions are quite common. There are two types that live here, scaring the ever loving crap out of me from time to time, but only one kind seems to enjoy the coolness of our home. So far, this summer alone, I think we've come across at least six of them and every time they make me jump. Earlier this summer, I left a bathrobe on the floor, picked it up, went to wash my hands in the sink, and when I looked up into the mirror, I found one of these "beauties" sitting on my shoulder. Even the neighbors heard me scream that day!

Anyway, back to the last one I found.

He was sitting on the bathroom rug, just as cozy as could be. Luckily, it wasnt' a surprise attack, spotting him long before I could step on him (I've been stung twice and my husband once by these scorpions. Don't worry, unless you're allergic they're not any worse than a bee sting. But still...right?) I trapped him under a glass because, believe it or not, these little suckers are FAST! And very feisty. As soon as that glass went over him, he struck like crazy and totally scared the daylights out of me. I looooathe these things!

I called my husband.

"Slide some cardboard under the glass, flip it over, and dump him in the toilet," he told me.

Okay. I can do this. I told myself.

But every time I touched the glass he struck. I was getting a bit nauseated at that point. Finally, I slipped the cardboard as far as I could on the thick rug before it got stuck. I left the scorpion alone for a while to figure out if he thought the cardboard had a nicer feel than the rug.

I guess he thought it did.

When I came back, he was sitting on the cardboard. I held my breath, shoved the cardboard under, flipped the glass and tossed him into the toilet.

I have never seen a more frantic scorpion in all my life. That thing flailed like crazy because he knew he was drowning. My daughter joined me in the bathroom to watch the death at sea.

And you know what?

Watching that little, nasty creature flail like that made me actually feel sorry for him. Yes, sorry. He'd brought his nasty stinger into my life, because he couldn't do anything else with it. It's not really his fault people hate the sight of him (or the pain), and besides, he's just trying to survive in any cool place he can find. But I had a choice. Do I keep something potentially painful, something that's like a ticking time bomb in my life. It's not his fault he was burdened with a stinger. And was making him drown under the weight and pressure of knowing that people hate him really a nice thing for me to do? Or even...dare I say...loving?

For a scorpion, I say yes. Get rid of the little sucker before he causes you more pain.

But an addict . . .

Knowing when to walk away from a harmful relationship is one of the most painful decisions one must make. And only you know if it's right for you or not.

How much pain do we let control our lives? Eventually, none, but it's a long road getting there.

Too bad that pain isn't as brief as a scorpion's sting . . .

Camping

Last weekend, as a family, we went on our annual camping trip. It's something we look forward to every summer. We have a specific spot we enjoy in the mountains, but some years we try different spots. So, this year we wound our way up the road into the fir and aspen filled mountains where we had planned on camping alongside a lake. We aren't ones to reserve spaces, and when we arrived, the campgrounds were filled.

I thought my daughter was going to hyperventilate, she got so distressed over the fact that we couldn't camp there. After assuring her we would find space at another campsite, she calmed down a bit. And we did find a campsite. A nice, quiet place, until a large clan across the way showed up with their dogs. Even with the irritation of barking dogs waking us up at midnight, we had a relaxing time.

And that's why I camp.

I don't do it because I love two days of griminess building up on my body. I don't go because I just can't get enough of that port-o-potty smell wafting down to our tent. I don't go because I wake up every morning stiff as the tin man needing a little oil in my squeaky joints. I don't do it because I love being on the verge of passing out when we go hiking in high altitudes.

No.

I do it because I love spending time with my family. I enjoy those moments when I sit alongside my husband next to the campfire, saying nothing at all, but comforted by his presence on those dark nights with strangers on either side of us. I enjoy the chill that sends me curling up next to him in our tent. I love seeing the excitement on my daughter's face when she pretends to do her "experiments" with dirt and river water.

And I love the drive home, knowing I'll finally be getting that shower I've been craving for the past two days.

Is there some summer tradition that you made sure you did this summer?