In a world full of enticing advertisements, sexy women on the big screen, and plenty of women breaking out the skimpy clothing for those long, hot summer months ahead, is it any wonder a man's eyes stray? I most certainly don't condone the stray glances of a man's eyes, nor do I condone the schoolboy chuckles when a man see's something particularly tantalizing. But how does a man, caught in an endless cycle of society's version of soft porn, get away from the smorgasbord displayed before him? We want him to heal. He wants to heal. And we want to get to a better place relationship-wise. But how does he get from the evils of point A to the freedom of point B?
He must learn to train the eyes and heart.
Perhaps you might think this to be an impossible feat, but in my own experience I know that my husband would never be able to make it through retraining what he lingers on if not for the grace of God and God's strength in his recovery. It has most certainly been a painful process for both of us. There have been starts and stops. There has been a relapse. There have been tears and anger and yelling and nights of me just lying awake in bed wondering when all the madness will stop. And praying that the madness will stop.
Because that's what addiction becomes to the addict.
A cycle of madness.
The madness only stops when he soulfully seeks the help he needs and starts his journey to let God take over the hurts, hang-ups, and painful habits hindering his life. Perhaps he needs to hit the bottom before the fog lifts and he realizes that now is the time to retrain what he'd been thinking, envisioning, dwelling on, holding tight to all along.
And maybe he's learned that if he doesn't start now, he will lose all those who've loved him throughout his downward spiral into his own destructive self-gratification.
But then again, perhaps not.
Do you believe an addict can learn to retrain his eyes and heart when it comes to the things that he lusts after or craves on a daily basis?
i hope so. It is such a long, hard journey. I met a lady at 12-step who's husband had been sober from sex addiction for 25 years and then she finds herself back at the beginning. 25 years of sobriety and he's back, no just a relapse he's back in the addiction. This is a crazy road we travel. Wishing you the best
ReplyDeleteI'll agree. This is a crazy road we travel, and sometimes the best we can do is hold on for dear life. Best of luck to you as well!
ReplyDeleteYes! I absolutely believe this is possible. And I am not speaking necessarily from my personal experience with SA, but more from my experience with other addictions and life itself. Is it challenging... absolutely! Does it take serious will, determination,and surrender...or course! But I have seen miraculous changes even in myself. So if I am to know that I can change my own damaging behavior, why wouldn't the same be true for SA or any other addiction? Lust is a powerful, life altering thing, but then again so is spirit and God.
ReplyDeleteSteadyHealing~ http//apathtohealing.wordpress.com
I'm glad to hear you agree, S.H. As the saying goes in my husband's recovery group, the only thing we can control are the decisions we make. So why not change how we make our decisions? It may sound simple enough, but sometimes a painful habit is hard to let go of. And yes, it's very challenging. But as you've said, I've seen the changes as well and sometimes it is incredibly remarkable!
ReplyDeleteYes, hold on for dear life!! That's it exactly. That's what I've been doing, thought the end of my story is a little different, or at least the road traveled is similar but different. I felt so fragile for so long, but as time passes, I feel a little stronger. Feel free to visit my blog and tell me what you think:)
ReplyDeleteBubbles, I agree. As time passes I definitely feel my strength building. But then there are the weak, vulnerable moments that seem to hit me out of nowhere. Like everyone else, I'm still a work in progress and I'm still healing. Thanks for stopping by!
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