Taking Responsibility

Taking responsibility for a given situation that we have either created or taken part in is something we learn from the time our mother says her first 'no' to us. It's strange, but lately I've been learning a lot about how many adults in my life don't remember how to look at a given situation and see that they are actually the ones causing things to happen as they fall to pieces around them.

There is a person in my life right now who has decided that by ignoring the situation she created, that by saying another person is actually responsible, then she has fixed the problem. But no problem has been fixed here. She's the one allowing for the sequence of events to continue to spin out of control, and yet, she refuses to acknowledge that she's the one who allowed for the cycle to begin and the one who allows it to continue. Taking a little responsibility for what she's allowed to happen would be nice right about now.

I also have a sister who recently lost her job. I've talked to her endlessly about the hamster wheel she continues to run on. She wants things to change for the better, ultimately blames God for the mess in her life, and withdraws from others in general, particularly the family. I've come to a point where nothing I say will help what addicts term 'the cycle of insanity', because I know she will keep going back to her familiar dark corners and continue to blame others around her. Again, taking a little responsibility for the fact that she ultimately pushed some limit too far that got her fired would be nice right about now.

And then there is my husband. We had an argument over some things that have surfaced from his past. I was so upset and unsettled by what I discovered. We sat down and I told him exactly how this was making me feel, just as we've learned to do through all the healing our relationship has been going through over the past couple of years. What I wanted from him was ownership of his actions. And you know what, he took it. He's not perfect and every day is a battle against the enemy. I know this. But, when things come to light that I had no knowledge of, I just want to hear him say that, yes, he did that and he's the one responsible for the repercussions.

Sometimes, when it comes to the difficult relationships in our lives, all we really need to hear is that the person responsible take ownership of their part in the downward spiral. Taking responsibility is so hard at times, but so important.

Do you struggle with responsibility and your part in given situations? Or do you have that one person who continues to frustrate you because he/she refuses to believe they have done wrong?